Growing up, my grandmother and my mother have always instilled the idea that less is more to live a content life. Last week, I was sitting down in a café with a good friend of mine discussing my current life predicament where the conversation of quality over quantity sparked up. Quality over quantity was a simple concept that was taught to me during my formative years and something that is currently pertinent in different aspects of my life. I tend to find it relevant in my relationships, my friendships, my academics, my work life, and even my blog.

In regard to relationships and friendships, I have always been considerably selective with whom I share my life with. I am an introvert who enjoys the comfort of her own company and keeping her personal life private. Thus, I like keeping my inner circle small and intimate and prefer to reserve my time, intensity, and spirit, exclusively for those who reflect sincerity and hold the same values. Although I do have surface-level friends, there is a distinct difference between a friend who only scratches the surface of your being and a friend who breaks down your walls and knows everything about how your soul works. Therefore, I always take a quality over quantity approach to my relationships and friendships

Perhaps it is my little indestructible bubble or the fortress that I have constructed, I tend to feel put off by the mere prospect of cultivating too many friendships. In my humble opinion, I find managing too many friends can be stressful and overwhelming. Besides having those nerve-racking adolescent years when popularity was the only thing that mattered, I was never the type of girl who enjoyed large social crowds. Bear in mind, although I am shy and quiet, I am not a socially awkward person. I simply find it difficult to mix work and socializing, school and socializing, or pretty much anything that is not socializing with socializing. Work is for working and school is for learning and oftentimes, socializing with acquaintances can be more painful than constructive.

Furthermore, I could never master the art of making new friends in a public setting. As selfish and narcissistic I may sound, I DO NOT believe I am too good to talk to people. Personally, being surrounded by a considerable number of people seems like an unnatural setting to cultivate meaningful relationships. As a result of meeting new people, it is the small talk that I could simply never be bothered with. I like to hear a good narrative and skip over the preamble.

On the upside of having fewer friendships, I genuinely value those select people who I consider true friends. I will blatantly admit that it is difficult for me to foster a connection with others in fear of being vulnerable and judged. Although my behaviour is misinterpreted as snobby, cold, shallow, rude, or weird, for those who do know me, know that I am the type of girl who will never let her guard down until I know I can be comfortable around you.

In all, I do not need to be adored by the masses. When it comes to love and friendship, I’ll take quality over quantity any day.




  1. IDK if I’d say I’m introverted, but I would say I’m anxious and awkward. I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying! I do wish that I had more friends, but yes, the ones I’d really value. So I’m trying to work my small talk. I’d heard someone say to skip it and ask people what you’re interested in (if someone asked you). What do you think about this?


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